Hello, consistency? Are you there? It's me
(No, not Margaret)
Three years ago (yes, three, for those of you who have been with me on Substack since day one) I started this newsletter—at the height of the nationwide COVID-19 lockdown in Malaysia. I stayed consistent for a year(-ish?) beginning with postcards and sound-bites from under a handkerchief tree at an arboretum and artist residency. The lockdown that was supposed to last for just two weeks turned into two years. It was a type of lockdown that required a permission letter from the police to cross state borders—regardless if the border was 10 minutes or 10 hours away.
When we were finally allowed to resume “business as near-usual” in the first quarter of 2022, two years after what seemed like “everybody else (who had a one- or six-month lockdown)”, there was a lot of repairing, rerouting and relearning. Taking down and putting up new blockades. Weeding out parasites. Making space for seeds of possibilities, which conveniently included ‘doubt’ and ‘fear’ in the “new normal” starter pack.
This week, as I’m recovering from one of the newer strains of COVID (ah, yes, it’s still in the air) I missed two deadlines: one for a mobility grant to participate in an art book fair in the US; and another mobility research grant within Asia.
The intervals between cold sweat and body aches; waking and sleeping; the urge to do everything and ability to do nothing; thinking briefly about food and falling back asleep after a sip of water.
The concept of time further blurred. And then it was December. December 2023. Hello, there.
I’m trying hard not to constantly jump back and forth between the extremes: thinking I'm doing “too much” to having done “nothing at all”.
As the year winds down (or up?) I’m taking this moment to just write. To write without overthinking (the need to add a link, a picture, or an embed; or to exploit the newest features on this platform).
To just be. Here.
Here, being a space after my first meal of the day at 6pm (so, ‘linner’?) Leftover spicy beef bulgogi, rice, kimchi and two fried eggs. The first egg (and being the first egg I cooked in the past three weeks) was a flop—sans sizzle and golden edges. I plead unfamiliarity with the new stovetop and pan.
In a way, this post is a resurrection of the newsletter, in which I am thankful to have over a hundred of you here. (If you forgot you subscribed to this newsletter and are going through the process of culling your subscriptions for the New Year, no hard feelings; thanks for being here and may we cross paths in the future. And if you choose to stay, for now, for however how long, hello, again. It’s nice to have to you here.)
The revival of these weekly postcards serves to (re)create a sense of consistency (for myself). A space to experiment, reword, rewire and reflect. A practice. A tangible practice amongst the various intangible tasks (e.g. reading, researching, networking, grant writing, presentation prep, pitching, etc.) that go into putting together and running PLATES full time.
What projects/to-do’s are you choosing to resurrect or let go in these final weeks of 2023? I look forward to reading your thoughts in the comments. Alternatively, feel free to reply to this email.
For now, a concoction of ginger, cardamom and black peppercorn await on the stove.
Hello! What a pleasure to hear from you again - I've wondered how you're doing... Sorry you've been feeling rough but glad you're on the mend and I look forward to hearing more when you're ready. No pressure!